Have You Decided Yet?
Purpose of the Blog
While so much child-free content online feels like it begins after the decision has already been made — bold, proud, and sometimes defiant — I wanted to create something different. A softer space. A quieter space. A space that makes room for the women still deciding. For those who feel joy and loss braided together. For those who may one day live a child-free life, but don’t feel the need to make that identity their armor.
This isn’t a rejection of motherhood or even of those who are confident in their child-free decision. It’s an affirmation that choosing not to become a parent is also a path of love, intention, and wholeness. And for those who are walking that path or wondering if they might, I hope this blog offers companionship. Reflection. Clarity. And maybe even a little peace.
Most conversations about being child-free live at the extremes: bold declarations, fierce rejections of motherhood, or definitive claims that the decision has already been made. For women who are still deciding — or who’ve recently made the choice with care, grief, or quiet conviction — there’s little room to land. Much of the content is either celebratory or combative, leaving little space for the complexity, tenderness, and introspection that often come with choosing not to have children.
There’s also a cultural silence around ambivalence — as if you must know, must defend, must be certain. And if you’re not? You’re invisible. For women in their late 20s through early 40s navigating the question “Do I want to be a mother?” there’s often nowhere to process openly without judgment, pressure, or performance.
This blog is that space. A soft landing. A thoughtful companion for women navigating the process of deciding. It’s a place to think aloud, reflect inward, and hold the both/and: the joy of a child-free life and the grief of a path not taken. Here, you don’t need to be certain. You don’t need to have an answer. You just need to be honest — with yourself and with the questions that are shaping your life.
Through storytelling, reflection, and intentional community-building, this blog creates room for complexity. It affirms that choosing not to have children is not a rejection of motherhood, but a valid and worthy path in its own right — one that deserves its own voice, rhythm, and respect.
Our Themes
The Mind behind This Space
A deeply feeling human living in the Twin Cities. I think in questions, feel in full color, and process life best through words. This blog is part personal reflection, part open journal, and part love letter to the women navigating the beautiful, brave complexity of choosing a child-free life on their own terms.
I am a woman who keeps a small circle of close friends. Quality over quantity. I care deeply for the people I welcome into my life, and they each bring a unique and immense value to me.
I enjoy a good debate. Better yet, I enjoy exploring theories and ideas that have the potential to alter my way of thinking. I appreciate those who can contribute to a conversation and teach me something new that leads to my growth and development.
I’m passionate about my values and beliefs. My feminism is intersectional. My progressive politics are heavily influenced by the tenets of my faith. A liberal mind with a spiritual heart.
I love to read books. I keep up with current events. If I got paid for the time I spent listening to podcasts, I could pay off my student loans ;). Documentaries are life.
Friday night is HH and Netflix. Saturday morning is a walk around the lake with a podcast or Audible soundtrack. Saturday afternoon is a play. Saturday night is…
I prefer routine and predictability, but welcome opportunities for spontaneity and action.